Guest Post: By Alanna Walsh

Be with me, Yahweh.

This simple prayer is one that I have repeated over and over again throughout this season of life. A prayer I find myself whispering in the still of the night or amidst the commotion of a busy day. These four words came to me initially as I was practicing the spiritual discipline known as breath prayer. I first heard about this practice in the book Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton. She describes breath prayer as “an expression of our heart’s deepest yearning coupled with the name for God that is most meaningful and intimate for us at this time.”  Barton continues to explain that you don’t try to think up your breath prayer on your own, but rather you discover it by tuning in to your deepest longs and desires in God’s presence.

Be with me, Yahweh.

Why were these words my deepest longing at this time? I began to unpack my breath prayer to attempt to figure out what my soul was trying to tell its Creator.

Be with me

Three words so simple on their own, but when strung together, a desperate plea of one who feels utterly alone.

This season of life has been one of change. I just transferred to a new college that is 300 miles from home. This is the longest period of time I have ever been away from my family. I’m attempting to maintain the relationships that mean the most to me now from a distance. I’m diving head first into the wonderfully complex field of ministry. I got a new job. I’m forming new friendships that will supposedly “last a lifetime.” I am constantly being refined into the person God created me to be.

And yet, even among all of these new and exciting experiences, I found myself feeling incredibly lonely. I simultaneously loved where I was at, but wished I was somewhere else. I loved the people I met, but wished I was back with my people at home. I loved the challenge of my classes, but wished I was back where I felt comfortable. I loved the idea of a fresh start, but wished I was back where I felt known. I was living in a paradox. I didn’t know how to be fully here when I wanted to be there. I didn’t know how to embrace the now when I wanted what was.

I told myself over and over again to be present, to live fully right now, but no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I just could not shake my longing for familiarity.

Eventually, God opened my eyes to see the problem. I was trying to juggle this alone. I pridefully attempted to tackle this on my own, meanwhile my Heavenly Father waited patiently for me to surrender it all to Him. As I approached His presence, the only words my soul could find to say was Be with me. I wanted God to be where I was. But really, I wanted to be where God was. I wanted Him to captivate my every thought, dictate my every move. I realized the only way I could truly find peace in the now was to invite God in, fully and presently.

Yahweh.

Yahweh is the name of God revealed to Moses at the burning bush in Exodus 3. It is a Hebrew word meaning I AM.

¹³ Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” ¹⁴ God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

I had heard Yahweh used for God before, but I never knew the significance of the name. Yahweh. The One who was, is, and is to come. Absolute truth. Absolute reality. Never ceasing. Never beginning. The Great I AM.

Immediately before the revelation of God’s identity to Moses in verses 13 and 14 stands verse 12 where Yahweh makes the promise, “I will be with you.”

I realized that the longing of my soul, Be with me, Yahweh, in itself contained the very response to my plea:

I AM. I am always with you. I have always been with you. I will always be with you.

I want to encourage anyone reading this to hold tight to that promise. Yahweh is always with you. He has always been with you. He will always be with you.

This truth is so beautifully restated by Jesus to His disciples just before He ascends into Heaven:

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:20