As I have grown more mature in my relationship with Christ over the past months a lot of questions have arose. I believe that is totally okay. I think I remember hearing one time that it is spiritually mature to have questions. If you don't have questions how do you learn?
This afternoon I read about instructions for Christian living in the book of Ephesians and a question hit me and it's been something that I have been struggling with for a while now. When it comes to Christian living..."you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." I interpret Christian living as living entirely in your new self. We were made new in the attitude of our minds. We were created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. I think that sometimes we forget that we were created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. That's an important thing not to forget.
Here is one of the areas where I struggle. Ephesians 4:25 says: Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. That is where I struggle. I expect people to love one another and I don't fully experience that.
The verse that follows is a verse that I always try to remember. It says: "In your anger to do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. That has been like a life verse for me. As I shared in my story, I struggle with fitting in, the feeling of isolation and being made fun of. I don't want a pity party, I just know that there are people out there who struggle as well. I won't share the things that are said or the things that happen that people do to irritate me, but when I get pushed to my breaking point, I have to remember not to sin when I am angry. Which is tough, because I get really mad sometimes. I've learned this year that when I am put in those situations that I need to be thankful for them, because they are trials from God that he uses to make me rely on HIM. I understand it might sound ridiculous that God puts me through those tough times, but he does, and through God doing that, my relationship has grown because I have had to rely and trust in him more than ever. God likes to battle test me, and I am thankful for that. Another important thing to remember is to not let the sun go down while you are still angry. I believe that is huge. Regardless of how my day has gone or how upset I get at night, I will never go to sleep angry. I can't do that. I try to be as optimistic as possible and I have tried to live that way my entire life. There are too many blessings in my life and too many things to be thankful for to be upset for a long period of time. I made up my mind, that I am going to pray for everyone. Regardless of how good or how bad my day was.
Another thing I struggle with is this. Ephesians 4:29 says: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their news, that it may benefit those who listen. I experience a ton of this. Words of affirmation and encouragement are something that is very important to me, and I don't hear it from many people. I only hear it from a very select few. When I am around negativity and around people who aren't the nicest and I feel isolated sometimes it's easy to just shake it off and other times it can get pretty bad and I vent and can go on rants. Later on in Ephesians 4:31 it says: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave you.
If you tie that last paragraph together, this is my biggest question. I wonder why I suffer and struggle more than others when I feel like I am doing the right thing? When I experience the struggles, I vent about how what I am going through is so tough, I feel terrible because I know that I need to do what verse 31 says. That is, get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every from of malice. I know that I need to be kind and compassionate to one another, and forgive, just as Christ forgave. It's tough. It's so tough. I want to encourage you today, that if you are someone who feels that way or struggles with maybe some mental issues that you are not alone. I encourage you to love everyone and pray for those who persecute you. You may feel all alone sometimes, but when you pray for all of those around you, it makes everything so much better. If you feel alone, remember that you are not. God is right there waiting for you and is right there with you.
You are never alone. God is always on your side and there are always people who are going through situations just like you and me.
Remember it's okay to have questions. I have some everyday.
If you get the chance, I encourage you to check out this article written by Kevin Love in the Player's Tribune. It was posted on there today and it was very encouraging for me and I hope it is for you as well.
https://www.theplayerstribune.com/kevin-love-everyone-is-going-through-something/
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