I don't understand

There is been a commonality about my life the past month and it's the life and health insurance exam. I seem to keep talking about it over and over again. I think that is because everyday something else seems to happen and because God is teaching me a lot through this whole process.

When I look back at this moment in my life in a couple of years, I know I am going to laugh at the fact that it took me so long to pass this exam. If I would've passed it the first time, my life would be different right now. The training, traveling, meetings, and work days. It would've all been different. I continue to try and find the bright side throughout this mess.

I drove down here to Indianapolis this morning and will be spending the next couple of days here at the Montgomery School of Insurance. After some talk with people at the office, coming down here to get trained for the exam was the best thing for me. I have to pass this in order to work.

This class lasts through Thursday and I was planning on scheduling my exam for Friday. After one day, I was already feeling so much better about Friday. I was sure that I was going to pass it. During my study time tonight, I remembered that I needed to schedule it. I stopped what I was doing and started to sign up to take the exam again.

I found the location, and the date that I wouldn't to take it. When I went to order it, I received in alert that told me that you can't take the same exam more than 3 times in a 30 day period if you haven't passed. Since I took it yesterday, that means I have to wait until July 17th to take it again.

I was shook. Another month to wait? I still cannot believe that I have to wait so long again. All evening my mind has been in a whirlwind. My studying went poorly, my time in the word wasn't the same, the focus hasn't been here.

Sitting here thinking about everything, I just don't understand.

Then I remembered that it's okay to not understand. It's okay for me to not understand and it's okay for you to not understand anything either. We don't ever have to know everything because we aren't capable of that. We also should never be upset at ourselves for being slow to understand everything about Jesus. After all, the disciples were with him, saw his miracles, heard his words, and still had difficulty understanding. Despite their questions and doubts, however, they believed. We should never do any less.

I hope this encourages you to be okay with not being able to understand Jesus. If we knew everything about Jesus, there would be no need and hunger in our souls to learn more about our creator. Not being able to understand everything about Jesus is the perfect reminder about the significance of God.